The Life & Times

Currently listening to: The Flaming Lips - Fight Test

I'm sitting here in the living room on the couches listening to my Top Rated playlist on iTunes... basically what I listen to when I sleep... the mellow sounds, right now I'm listening to The Flaming Lips and it makes me miss Sarah Heimerman hardcore. Last month getting to live and work with her in Wichita just made me think of our times together in Manhattan and how much I miss it.

But I came back because I wanted to. I came back because I'm going back to school.

The process can be so frustrating sometimes. I missed enrollment and I paid off my loans and K State too late to get into the 16 week courses for the semester, so now I can only take 8 week classes that wont start till March. Fuck my life I dont want to wait that long! I guess I'll just throw myself back into work like I did the last 4 years I've worked there.

That in itself is an interesting subject for me, how can I take my job seriously when I feel like I could do things better than even the management can? Well considering I WAS management for 3 years that will probably have the most to do with it. I just feel as if everything that I had worked to acheive during my time there went to shit in the 9 months that I was gone. Also gone is the level of trust I thought I had with the higher-ups as well. Oh well, I'll just continue to work my ass off and make MY money and be content. But don't ask for any favors from me... those days are long over.

I started dating someone when I was in Wichita for the holidays and we broke up a couple of weeks ago, he wanted to try and work things out but when someone is 2 hours away and I work and play all the time it's hard to change. I wouldn't expect anyone to change for me so why should you expect me to change what I do for you? Don't get me wrong I am sure at some point I'll have to change things to accomodate someone but not all at the same time please! I've been down that road before in my last relationship and in those 4 years I changed so much that I didnt know where to start when it ended. It took me a long time to build up the confidence I have now and it will not change for anyone unless you give me a good reason to. Needless to say when I told him I didn't want to work things out he didn't take kindly to it. But I hope we can at least be friends.

And this brings me to the NEW boy. My girl Jace is using nicknames so I will give him one as well: White&Nerdy. Which he is, but to a degree: 28 (older than I!), studying Horticulture at K State, nice, attractive (to me, at least) and a really nice guy. I met him last week at Ale House (I really don't like going there) so I took him to MY favorite bar and bought him a Belfast. We've been texting since then and tonight he came in to work and sat in my section and studied while I worked. Hung out for 3 hours... I'd stop and sit at his table and chat with him for a little bit in between my tables. We have standing plans to hang out on Thursday since I work till then and he has classes hardcore till Thursday afternoon.

This weekend I have a TON of KC friends coming down for my friend Krysti's wedding. I'm excited to see everyone for it! Especially since I don't have to work all weekend starting on Thursday night!